$sigma math pun$

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am! I had a splinter once it eventually got out of hand. If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion. How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house. “Taken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise) What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks! My friend told me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, “Yeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!” When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent! How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator! Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict! What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large! What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller! What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck! Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills. Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division. Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything! I called the animal shelter today and said 'I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods.' They said 'Are they moving?' I replied 'I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase.' What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen! What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

$sigma math pun$

Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all. When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said “No, doc, it’s dis knee.” I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. Have you heard of that new movie, “Constipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out. I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it! What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree! Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. They say three out of five people suffer from diarrhea. There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician. Once i threw a boomerang, it never came back. I was just diagnosed with colorblindness. coincidentally I just happen to be playing my drums those nights so I could easily tune him out. I just moved and IMMEDIATELY after we move in he starts banging on my door every night yelling at me. If you are attacked by a group of clowns.

Sigma math pun